Oct 20 2009

Nine Words Women Use

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . That will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever:
Is a woman’s way of saying GO TO HELL

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.


Jun 2 2009

Geek Prom 2009

You Can Dance If You Want To…

A Night of Pseudoformal Peer Bonding!

Geeks, nerds, dorks — chances are, you didn’t attend your high school prom. During college, you were so focused on your engineering/math/science degree that other humans barely registered within your domain space. This is your chance to rectify your oversight without yielding to irrational forces of social pressure, and perhaps enrich your symbolic-semantic internodal linkages, as well! (okay, that was actually gibberish) Come to the

Prom Bot Flyer

There will be music, dancing, and some sort of contest based on physical appearance, but we promise that it won’t be excruciating or embarassing! Local tinkerers will bring their latest DIY and hacked gadgets — stuff that you WISH you had made for your High School Science Fair. To attend this fundraiser (see Meta) follow this simple instruction set:

» Obtain advance entry clearance for $15/couple or $10/single. $20/couple or $15/single at the door.

» Prior to GEEK PROM (but not too prior) enhance your physical appearance with

a. hygiene

b. cosmetic adjustment

c. optimized exolayer assembly

» On Saturday June 6th, Utilize a transport medium (non-virtual) to resolve this address:

Co-Prosperity Sphere

3219 S Morgan St.

Chicago, IL

View Larger Map

» Entry clearance will be granted at the door for donations of $20/couple or $15/single, starting at 9 pm Central; unbonded pairs also welcome.

» Open Format:

a. Dancing to Music (live bands and DJ’s)

b. Contests (outfits and exhibits (see contest rules))

c. Imbibe (liquids)

d. Witness / Interact (art, games)

e. Improvise (variable)

f. Communicate (oral/aural)

» This happening will be adjourned at 2 am, and requires remaining participants to anti-swarm.

Meta

PS1 Logo

The GEEK PROM is a fundraiser for Pumping Station: One, a non-for-profit hackerspace in Chicago. The proceeds for this event go towards machine tools and supplies, so that PSOne may host classes, workshops, and other events for the community-at-large, and provide an environment where makers, modders, and hackers of hardware/software projects can unleash their creative madness.

Contest Rules

There are two contests, a Exolayer Pairing contest, and a Science Fair contest, each with a distinct set of rules:

–Exolayer Pairing Contest

To enter, get photographed and enter your information at the photography stand. Vote via approval voting at any point up to midnight using an available terminal or your own web-enabled device. Each entry must consist of two humans, and each pair can only enter once. However, a single human can pair with any number of other humans for additional entries, so long as each combination is unique. Voters are asked to vote based on criteria provided in the voting form. Any outfit is allowable, but you should also be able to dance in it.

–Science Fair Contest

This contest requires that you contact the organizers ahead of time so we can take a look at your display. Your exhibit should be interactive, fun, and self-explanatory (we don’t require you to stand by it all night, unless you want to). If it’s artwork, there should be something geeky/nerdy/science-y about its topic, creation, or significance. Bring your exhibit to the Co-Prosperity Sphere on Thursday June 4th between 6 and 10 pm for early set-up. Anything interactive should be demoed successfully.

Sponsors

Interested in having your brand present at GEEK PROM? Contact us.


Jul 15 2008

UPS – VIRUS WARNING!!

UPS Brown Bulletin
Attention Virus Warning

We have become aware there is a fraudulent e-mail being sent that says it is coming from UPS and leads the reader to believe that a UPS shipment could not be delivered. The reader is advised to open an attachment reportedly containing a waybill for the shipment to be picked up.

This e-mail attachment contains a virus. We recommend that you do not open the attachment, but delete the e-mail immediately.

UPS may send official notification messages on occasion, but they rarely include attachments. If you receive a notification message that includes an attachment and are in doubt about its authenticity, please contact customerservice@ups.com.

Please note that UPS takes its customer relationships very seriously, but cannot take responsibility for the unauthorized actions of third parties.

Thank you for your attention.


© 2008 United Parcel Service of America, Inc. UPS, the UPS brandmark, and the color brown are
trademarks of United Parcel Service of America, Inc. All rights reserved.

Click here to unsubscribe the UPS Brown Bulletin.

If you would like to be added to the UPS Brown Bulletin distribution, click here.

For information on UPS’s privacy practices refer to the UPS Privacy Policy.
Please do not reply to this e-mail.


May 30 2008

Tech Support

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.

Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they’re about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they’re used in.

Anyway, the following call came in:

Customer: “I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn’t work.”
Tech Support: “It just doesn’t boot up?”
Customer: “It doesn’t even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn’t even turn on in the back of the system.”
Tech Support: “Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?”
Customer: “Yes, there is.”
Tech Support: “Ok, is the computer plugged in?”
Customer: (irritated) “Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I’m a college graduate, you know.”
Tech Support: “Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I’ll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day.”
Customer: (exasperated) “Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!”

Customer: “I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord.”
Tech Support: “One extra cord?”
Customer: “Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that’s all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one.”
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more…but use a bit of tact to do so.

Tech Support: “Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?”
Customer: “On the back of the computer?”
Tech Support: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: (sigh) “All right, all right, hold on…”
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn’t bother to verify it.

Tech Support: “Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?”
Dead silence. I could just picture the man’s face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the “extra” power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn’t wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.


May 29 2008

Zen Quote

We accept the graceful falling of mountain cherry blossoms, but it is much harder for us to fall away from our own attachment to the world.

Rengetsu


May 23 2008

Quote for today

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
– Kurt Vonnegut

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
– Elizabeth Taylor

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
– Bertrand Russell


May 21 2008

Meaning of Color

Red Color  Red

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy,
war, danger, strength, power, determination as well as passion, desire,
and love.

Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism,
increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. It has very high
visibility, which is why stop signs, stoplights, and fire equipment are
usually painted red. In heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. It
is a color found in many national flags.

Red brings text and images to the foreground. Use it as an accent color
to stimulate people to make quick decisions; it is a perfect color for
‘Buy Now’ or ‘Click Here’ buttons on Internet banners and websites. In
advertising, red is often used to evoke erotic feelings (red lips, red
nails, red-light districts, ‘Lady in Red’, etc). Red is widely used to
indicate danger (high voltage signs, traffic lights). This color is also
commonly associated with energy, so you can use it when promoting energy
drinks, games, cars, items related to sports and high physical activity.

Light red represents joy, sexuality, passion,
sensitivity, and love.
Pink signifies romance, love, and friendship. It denotes feminine
qualities and passiveness.
Dark red is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, anger, leadership,
courage, longing, malice, and wrath.

Brown suggests stability and denotes masculine qualities.
Reddish-brown is associated with harvest and fall.

Orange Color  Orange

Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is
associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. Orange represents enthusiasm,
fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success,
encouragement, and stimulation.

To the human eye, orange is a very hot color, so it gives the sensation
of heat. Nevertheless, orange is not as aggressive as red. Orange increases
oxygen supply to the brain, produces an invigorating effect, and stimulates
mental activity. It is highly accepted among young people. As a citrus
color, orange is associated with healthy food and stimulates appetite.
Orange is the color of fall and harvest. In heraldry, orange is symbolic
of strength and endurance.

Orange has very high visibility, so you can use it to catch attention
and highlight the most important elements of your design. Orange is very
effective for promoting food products and toys.

Dark orange can mean deceit and distrust.
Red-orange corresponds to desire, sexual passion, pleasure, domination,
aggression, and thirst for action.
Gold evokes the feeling of prestige. The meaning of gold is illumination,
wisdom, and wealth. Gold often symbolizes high quality.

Yellow Color  Yellow

Yellow is the color of sunshine. It’s associated with joy, happiness,
intellect, and energy.

Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental
activity, and generates muscle energy. Yellow is often associated with
food. Bright, pure yellow is an attention getter, which is the reason
taxicabs are painted this color. When overused, yellow may have a disturbing
effect; it is known that babies cry more in yellow rooms. Yellow is seen
before other colors when placed against black; this combination is often
used to issue a warning. In heraldry, yellow indicates honor and loyalty.
Later the meaning of yellow was connected with cowardice.

Use yellow to evoke pleasant, cheerful feelings. You can choose yellow
to promote children’s products and items related to leisure. Yellow is
very effective for attracting attention, so use it to highlight the most
important elements of your design. Men usually perceive yellow as a very
lighthearted, ‘childish’ color, so it is not recommended to use yellow
when selling prestigious, expensive products to men – nobody will
buy a yellow business suit or a yellow Mercedes. Yellow is an unstable
and spontaneous color, so avoid using yellow if you want to suggest stability
and safety. Light yellow tends to disappear into white, so it usually
needs a dark color to highlight it. Shades of yellow are visually unappealing
because they loose cheerfulness and become dingy.

Dull (dingy) yellow represents caution, decay,
sickness, and jealousy.

Light yellow is associated with intellect, freshness, and joy.

Green Color  Green

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness,
and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety.
Dark green is also commonly associated with money.

Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human
eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes
green denotes lack of experience; for example, a ‘greenhorn’ is a novice.
In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. Green, as opposed to red,
means safety; it is the color of free passage in road traffic.

Use green to indicate safety when advertising drugs and medical products.
Green is directly related to nature, so you can use it to promote ‘green’
products. Dull, darker green is commonly associated with money, the financial
world, banking, and Wall Street.

Dark green is associated with ambition, greed,
and jealousy.
Yellow-green can indicate sickness, cowardice, discord, and jealousy.
Aqua is associated with emotional healing and protection.
Olive green is the traditional color of peace.

Blue Color  Blue

Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth
and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence,
faith, truth, and heaven.

Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism
and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquility
and calmness. In heraldry, blue is used to symbolize piety and sincerity.

You can use blue to promote products and services related to cleanliness
(water purification filters, cleaning liquids, vodka), air and sky (airlines,
airports, air conditioners), water and sea (sea voyages, mineral water).
As opposed to emotionally warm colors like red, orange, and yellow; blue
is linked to consciousness and intellect. Use blue to suggest precision
when promoting high-tech products.

Blue is a masculine color; according to studies, it is highly accepted
among males. Dark blue is associated with depth, expertise, and stability;
it is a preferred color for corporate America.

Avoid using blue when promoting food and cooking, because blue suppresses
appetite. When used together with warm colors like yellow or red, blue
can create high-impact, vibrant designs; for example, blue-yellow-red
is a perfect color scheme for a superhero.

Light blue is associated with health, healing,
tranquility, understanding, and softness.
Dark blue represents knowledge, power, integrity, and seriousness.

Purple Color  Purple

Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple is
associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition.
It conveys wealth and extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom,
dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic.

According to surveys, almost 75 percent of pre-adolescent children prefer
purple to all other colors. Purple is a very rare color in nature; some
people consider it to be artificial.

Light purple is a good choice for a feminine design. You can use bright
purple when promoting children’s products.

Light purple evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings.
Dark purple evokes gloom and sad feelings. It can cause frustration.

White Color  White

White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity.
It is considered to be the color of perfection.

White means safety, purity, and cleanliness. As opposed to black, white
usually has a positive connotation. White can represent a successful beginning.
In heraldry, white depicts faith and purity.

In advertising, white is associated with coolness and cleanliness because
it’s the color of snow. You can use white to suggest simplicity in high-tech
products. White is an appropriate color for charitable organizations;
angels are usually imagined wearing white clothes. White is associated
with hospitals, doctors, and sterility, so you can use white to suggest
safety when promoting medical products. White is often associated with
low weight, low-fat food, and dairy products.

Black Color  Black

Black is associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and
mystery.

Black is a mysterious color associated with fear and the unknown (black
holes). It usually has a negative connotation (blacklist, black humor,
‘black death’). Black denotes strength and authority; it is considered
to be a very formal, elegant, and prestigious color (black tie, black
Mercedes). In heraldry, black is the symbol of grief.

Black gives the feeling of perspective and depth, but a black background
diminishes readability. A black suit or dress can make you look thinner.
When designing for a gallery of art or photography, you can use a black
or gray background to make the other colors stand out. Black contrasts
well with bright colors. Combined with red or orange – other very
powerful colors – black gives a very aggressive color scheme.